sieze the day

i woke up at the ripe hour of 10:30 this morning. scratched my ass, farted , got out of bed, you know, the usual. fed the cat, fed the dog, fed the ferret, fed the fish, drank jeremy's left over cold coffee, one gulp. i then prceeded to the recliner to spend my mid morning planing my mid afternoon. i will clean the pool, i will pick up my check, i will go to wally world for supplies, i will begin flipping through the giant nurseryman's study manual that i recieved today. it's about four inches thick, the test is in 2 and a half weeks. okay, motivated, ready to go, outside the house, in the car, key in the ignition......
click

click

click

out of the car...hood up, thinking if i give it a stearn talking to and a dirty look it might start. back in the car...

click

click

click

the battery is dead. elvis dead. kurt cobain dead. brittany spears' career dead.

i bum a boost from the old man down the street in exchange for some polite conversation about his health, the weather, and how long we had been in the neighborhood. it starts!

angels sing

i rush off to the auto parts store where i am waited on by a female. she was obviously there to flirt and sell shit, i wasn't impressed by her cleavage and explained that i just needed a battery. she followed me out with the battery, that i carried. proceeded to ask me how i was gonna get that in there? i wanted to tell her i would just use my teeth, but she was so stupid she might have believed me, so i asked for a wrench, she came back with pliers. that'll do i replied. i finished changing the battery to her surprise, closed my hood and left her standing in awe of my butchness as i drove my powder blue dodge colt a la 1992 into the texas traffic.

the rest of the day is going okay now, i have read a bit o the book, cleaned the pool, and done poop patrol in the yard. later on i intend to clmb a building and perhaps save some whales, and maybe, i'll teach myself karate later too. no, no i won't, because i am only a superhero in my own eyes.