Home spun hatred

So here I sit again, back home , back to life, buried my pet yesterday and the world turns. Now you are here, you expect some little piece of me in return for the effort you place in reading this. I don't blame you. I often wish there was more of me to give, bigger , better pieces of me. I close my eyes here , I feel the cold creek water running over me last week. I sat on that big rock watching those little men swim. I watched those boys grow up, now they are almost men. I sat outside on warm nights with old friends, friends that love me, and I watched the Georgia rain. I miss my family and my friends, I use to throw those kids over my shoulder and toss them around, now they can do that to me. I drove my little rental car around the back country streets, and I wished for everything. I wished to have all my friends and family , and my wife, all a part of me, it's not easy spreading yourself this thin. The older you get the more you need pieces of everybody to keep you whole. I just wonder sometimes if I'm enough, if I can be enough to keep you all. I guess we find what we need when we need it. I just don't know, I just don't know.... While I was home, one of the big local news stories was a cross burned in the front yard of a gay couple. "get out fags" god bless the old south, god bless all the rebel flags, god bless the hatred that breaks my heart, part of me wants to be back, so close to all of you , but part of me knows I don't belong there. Now I have to face the demons that go along with that. Every give has a take, every love has a hate, every beginning has an end. Beelers, you are a fucking sage man, "the difference between the south and the rest of the world is it's ability to hold on to the past." the deep deep heart of the south , it's all pretty, Georgia pines, Tennessee hills, Mississippi river. Hate in beauty amazes me... We reap what we sow.....