Week (weak) days

This week has been really weird. I have pushed my mental fiber in ways I shouldn't. I have allowed the thought monster in. I have let stress pull rank on me. As a result I feel mentally and emotionally beat up. Work has been a challenge, a bully want to be boss was back this week while the real boss was outta town, she constantly plants seeds of negativity because she has a low self image. A short pow wow with the real boss today resolved those issues and left my shoulders a little lighter. Still the week feels like a challenge. It's one of those times in life where little insights come to light, not enough to dig them up completely and make them reality, but enough to feel them looming . Last night I had a dream that S. didn't love me anymore. Not that she hated me, I think I could recover from that, but the depth of hurt I felt knowing I wasn't loved, even in a dream shook me, it really rocked me hard. What is it with me lately? What is this puppy dog need? I have nothing but loyalty to anyone that I care about, except myself...
Why is that???


"Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind, take me to a place so holy, that I can wash this from my mind, the memory of choosing not to fight..."