red bird on my window

so i had to come in to work early today, which is where i am now. i opened the store cuz the other manager was gonna be late. anywho i'm sitting in the office booting up the computers, ect., when i hear a tap on the window. i kid not, a male and female cardinal were just sitting there looking at me as if to say goodmorning. the damn birds actually knocked. it's offical i need more human friends, but right now i have to go feed piggy and grunt before they eat my birds. hehe, gottalove a cold morning outside. sigh.

happy early...

sandra gave me my birthday present early, well, the ups man did...lol. she couldn't keep it hid, had to show me. i got a new guitar, i'm a rock star! woot woot.

My top five

wifey and I have discussed over the years, the chance, should it occur that we could make it(hehehe) with someone famous, who it would be. We agreed to give each other a top five list, and since it would never happen, why the hell not. This is mine, from least to beast.

#5: Angelina Jolie, what can I say ,you've seen her.

#4: Matthew Mconahay. I know it's a man. But he smokes pot and plays the bongos neekiddd!

#3: Fisher, if you don't know her, the album is true north, I suggest you google her, MEOWWW.

#2: Gwen Stefani oh my gaaa...Have you seen her. I'm sure she is a great chick, but have you seen her!

#1: Sarah, I would fall down and pee myself if the woman just sang to me....Unhealthy obsession I know.


WOW , I sound like a male chauvinist pig with gay tendencies....lmao.

Fight the good fight

So one of my little shits at work has been bustin my balls all week. I'm trying to reign him back in and keep him from losing his job, meanwhile he wonders around all space cadet looking like a lost child. Our GM is ready to sack him, but I know he has potential. All that to get to this, today I was suppose to have a heart to heart with him about work things, boy oh boy did I ever. As his eyes filled with tears he told me his mom had a stroke over the holiday. She doesn't recognize him. His father died last year in a car wreck, and he is obviously a 20 something year old little boy lost. I thought back to how devastated I was when my grams had her stroke. How helpless I felt. I skipped the talk and gave him the afternoon off. Those stupid guys are like kids to me, and the weirdest thing is that they respect me and value my opinion. I'm not gonna crush him this weak, fuck the boss. In the end we are all human, and a paycheck is just a piece of paper. You get to slide my dear boy. I feel like a tough love camp councilor sometimes rather than a manager. I'm gonna go with my gut on this one...shrug.

Summer breeze

One channel today said the temperature here got to a balmy, toasty 90 degrees today. Nov, 90 degrees. That sure does make a margarita go down easy. Why did no one tell me of this warm place when I was a child. I don't think I can handle the cold anymore. I'm so spoiled, it's great, naneenaneebooboo.

Thanksgiving funnies part deux

Okay, ignition ...Check! Headlights ...Check! Brakes...Check! Beer...Check!(but only a little so don't bitch at me) What did I forget? hummm, gas...Check! Now picture me barreling at 8000 miles an hour through the creek, mud on my turkey day clothes freezing my tropical loving ass off. Oh yes, TREE BRANCH!!!! Slap, I forgot the damned helmet.
Now I'm being chased by four boys on machines much like my own, if I stop to see if my eyeball is hanging out I will get run over. So I ride, I gas the fourwheeler up over a ridge, SLAP! Another tree branch, accompanied by the tree. At least the kids had on helmets, and I must say they were a little more adept at driving those bitches too. I do love the thrill of crushing my skull on a major holiday. THE MORAL TO THE STORY IS: Family holidays sometimes require helmets! Seasons Greetings and yee haw you buncha muthas!

Thanksgiving funnies part I

So my brother staring out at the dog says randomly to no one in particular, " I wish I had a tail like that. I could use it to fan away farts."

Donna in the belly of the whale

So I just got in a bit ago. I flew in from family thanksgiving in Tennessee. I got to fly on the cool plane, the one painted like shamoo the whale. I wonder if Jonah had to deal with smelly diapers and old guy farts in the belly of his whale?

see donna, see donna go...

i just printed my boarding pass, 5 a.m. i'll see you soon. chattanooga via nashville, i'll see you soon. praying for food fight at thanksgiving, if not perhaps i'll get to drive the four wheelers or dune buggie, it's a redneck thanksgiving charlie brown....where'd i put that damn beer.

Holiday wish

WARNING: this one is a bit of a downer, but it was on my mind.


Some days you are the rat, and some days you are the maze. Today I feel like the maze, strange and empty, wishing I had answers to all of the questions in the universe. A little while back, I was doing my usual routine after work on the nights wifey is at dialysis, so I pulled into the jack in the box for supper in a sack, flipped my money at the kid in the drive thru window, sat there grumbling off my day waiting for my curly fries. As I pulled out to the light, in the split second it took for red to go to green, a little face popped up in my window, as the light changed, I heard the calloused answer come out before I could stop myself, "not today kid", he looked back and he said his mom was hungry, not even asking for himself, his mom. The car behind me honked and I had to drive off. In the rear view mirror I saw his mom, old and sad sitting on the curb. I drove home crying, walked in sat my food on the table, turned around walked out and drove back looking for that kid. I felt like the worlds biggest horses ass. I went to the grocery store and got him some junk food and soda, sandwich crap, kid food. He couldn't have been more than 8 or 10. He literally jumped up and down and clapped when he saw me come back. He was so happy that I brought him food. Food. Just food. This is a big city, and people will take advantage of a kind heart, but I saw a lifetime in that kids eyes. I gave his mom a giftcard for the local grocery store, money I didn't really have to give, she asked my name and said she would pray for me. I never told her my name, I told her to love her kid, no matter how hard times were, and to help someone else when she was able. It is the holiday season, a little help, a little compassion, a little peace in a world that sucks, and kids that don't go to bed hungry. That is my wish. Sometimes the hardest person I face all day is myself. Holiday wishes to everyone.

good stuff them black crows

She never mentions the word addiction
In certain company
Yes, she’ll tell you she’s an orphan
After you meet her family
She paints her eyes as black as night, now
Pulls those shades down tight
Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,
The pain’s gonna make everything alright

pimp juice

hahaha, i'd be a playa if i weren't already in love.

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object

The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get.You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them.The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase. You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away.You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance.Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't! You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors.Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor.You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

So there!

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

The Vulgar Gourmet: The Vulgar Equivalent

The Vulgar Gourmet: The Vulgar Equivalent

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown

I am currently listening to the original sound track of a Charlie Brown Christmas. (and i'm doing the peanuts dance)

Jason vs. Harry Potter

Hehehe, that title sounds like the intro to a bad kiddie horror flick. It's not. Yesterday I hung out with Jason all day. He is the twin and only other man I have ever lived with on purpose. He is good people. I miss him a lot too. I realized we sorta went through the same thing when he moved to Colorado, and came outta that like champs. So I have a new out look on the Jeremy and me situation. We all need love, and right now Jeremy is catching up on some lost years of sorely needed love. I realized this yesterday when Jason and I spent the day together and all we seemed to keep coming back to was our better halfs. His deano, mine Sandra. We are three people, Jeremy Jason, and myself, that all in all make good people alone, but with the right counterpart, we are even better. At least I am, and Jason is and hopefully Jeremy will find or is finding that as well. Beside the point.
I was a little nervous to hang out with Jason yesterday, but when he got here all was well. We still fit, like an old boot you've forgotten about. It was comforting. Then in true Donna Jason fashion, we started the morning with a glass of red wine, then headed off for a national park. See, he is a bigger lesbian than I am. He showed up in flannel, carrying 3 flaming pins. The boy has taken up fire juggling as a sport. Anyday now I await photos of burnt hair, or fire trucks in the town of aspen. Juggle on my boy, juggle on. After we wondered around lost in the city, mostly due to my lack of interest in the map, we settled on lunch and margaritas. We came home and drank another bottle of wine. Watched the spurs game, talked a lot, then headed out to midnight Harry potter. There we drank more beer. So in conclusion a good friend can get you back into the light, turn your head back around, and help you finish two bottles of wine, some tequila, and multiple beers. i woke up around 1 p.m.

Harry Potter

i got tickets for harry potter! we are going to the 12 showing tonite, at the alamo draft house. movies with beer! the best part, the draft house movie theater doesn't allow kids...

Mr. Fuckwhatsit

This morning for some reason I remembered getting in trouble in 7th grade. I got in trouble for talking. The teacher was an ass bag and made me write this,

"Whispering is talking to someone less than two feet away, and someone more than two feet away can not hear the person talking."

He made me write it 700 times. He called it the 700 club. I was a charter member. (My mom wrote half.)

So here's to you mister fuckwhatsit, I can't remember your name but that dumb ass sentence sure stuck like glue.

Burrrr....

It is currently 60 degrees outside. The first cold front of the season. Yesterday was 80 degrees. Tonight, 35 degrees. I had to search for pants and shoes today. My toes hate me, I am putting my sandals back on. I haven't worn shoes in over six months now. Cold be damned. The temp goes back up next week. I like warm sunny places!

Ironic

You know that show, the fat show , the biggest loser? Well, tonight I kicked back in my recliner and watched that while eating donuts. Irony, i.r.o.n.y. irony.

Come and get ittttttttt!

I have recently taken to having old school t.v. dinners for lunch. You know the ones big enough to feed a bird. But oddly enough the joy in these foul plastic food stuffs is that I like to mix the contents, from all three compartments together. I do this with little regard for the components. Today, chicken mush and gravy with the corn niblets and mashed potatos all mixed together. I think I'll smear this all on bread and eat on the go. p.s. kool-aid to wash it down. Hey kool-aiddddddddd!

wonder what skunks talk about?

skunk one: nice day huh bob?
skunk two: yeah, but something smells funny!

good morning sunshines!

pork you!

this is an actual billboard

I am the bobcat queen!

While I have you here, I think I need to go ahead and add to my repertoire bobcat operator. Impressive isn't it. I now get to drive a beast much like this, and you should all be scared. My boss tossed me the keys a couple weeks ago and told me to give it a whirl, I did! So the barn taught me how to drive a fork lift , lowe's taught me how to operate a cherry picker and front loaders. Now I can drive any bobcat machinery. I feel like the head transformer when i'm in this thing, like a couple more robots should attach and make the arms and legs. Very lesbonic of me, I know this, but it's fun. I can drive a bulldozer for fucks sake, just a few more skills under my belt and I will rule the world. I will. I am the lizard king i can do anything.....

cathartic

screw the previous post, i am only leaving it up to remind myself that writing while emotional is hazardous, and it is also cathartic, so fuck that.

The adjective cathartic has 3 meanings:
Meaning #1: emotionally purging Synonym: psychotherapeutic
Meaning #2: emotionally purging (of e.g. art) Synonym: releasing
Meaning #3: strongly laxative Synonyms: evacuant, purgative

Drunk blogging

so today I kinda feel like a shit head. Maybe it's just a bad day, maybe I'm just being down on myself, maybe I really am an idiot and I deserve to feel the way I feel. Then again, maybe it's the wine. Work has been a turd this week, just not going how I want. Friends, well, I can pretty much flush that toilet, I'm a hermit lately. The few of you who are left, stay strong, perhaps I'll come around. hehehe. a pep talk to keep you all interested in the meager ramblings of a nobody. I'm gonna let myself sink a little longer, as soon as I'm up to my nose in this shit I keep spouting , I'll drown the pity I've been sitting in and be ok. Until then I'll just keep writing shit, and you, being the loved ones I know you are (you here) will keep reading it. I've been pretty damn sunny for the last couple of years, it's no surprise I need to crash and burn for a few days. All that happy in one place will damn near drive a normal person like me crazy. Deep breaths. a show of hands for the people that actually made it to this last line. goodnite self. I'm going to bed.

Fallen "Sarah"

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Gravity

This morning I drove to work as usual. I drove up to the locked gate and noticed the flashing lights in the intersection. The grey clouds cast an unsettling green color to the smoke coming up from the flares in the road. I started to take a drink of my coffee, rubbernecking with the rest of the passerbys when I saw the sheet. The ambulance wasn't there yet and the body lay there in the road like a monument to the street lights. I wondered if he had stopped for coffee at the gas station like I did that morning. I wondered if he was on his way to work or church. I wondered why so many people stood around gawking. I unlocked the gate and went to work. The rest of the day I thought about how delicate life is. How delicate we all are. Flesh, blood, water, bone. So very easily taken away. So very fragile. So vulnerable to the world we think is ours. The sun came out after lunch, a warm breeze, and no one at work gave a second thought to the sheet slightly damp from the drizzling rain that morning. Sigh.

"I been saving time for another life,Maybe happiness is coming but you don't know when,When..."

A couple more whacks

So yesterday I locked myself out of the house. The morning went something like this....
sleep sleep sleep, doorbell, one eye open, doorbell again, search for clothes, door bell again, go to door with hair poking in all directions and shirt on backwards, see mail lady driving off, find package at door for disenfranchised roommate that didn't need a signature anyway. Look at clock, time 9:15. The mail lady never runs before 1 pm, except for my days off. I make a point to go out and shake the package in her general direction, she waves and smiles. Back in the house, shake package for a few seconds, bored easily, package to said disenfranchiseds room. Comb hair , brush teeth, turn shirt to right side. Thought bubble, 50 dollar an hour consult fee, consult this morning. Job to follow with luck, skip in step and the day lightens. Gather books , papers , sketch pad ect, out the door with a smile on my face. Door snaps, latched. The jingle jangle of keys is a mis. Smile gone. Books , papers , sketch pad, ect, on the driveway.... Grumble. I walk around the house damning our fine security skills. 2nd thought bubble, the roommate! His window! Behind the 6 foot tall hedges! I am an amazon, I trek off through the jungle. His security skills, lacking, I break in to his room. The branches catch my shorts, my ass is flailing in the wind, I am a warrior. I do a less than graceful fat girl flip onto his bed, rolling to the floor, landing on my head. Later I tell this to another dear friend, and I inspire the birth of another blog. I preceded to tell her about my untimely tumble, and I ended the drama with , "a few more whacks on the head and I'll be retarded!" I linked her, check it out yourself... I'm gonna start selling my one liners.

i take no credit for this, just blog surfing and found this site, funny shit. randumb-drawings.blogspot.com

Veteran's Day

Thank You. Thank you for doing a job that many of you believe in. Thank you for doing a job many of you don't necessarily believe in. I know I am allowed to walk down the street and tell the world how I feel, and have the right to question because of all of you.

The Ghost Car Advertisement

Now i don't normally care for these hoakie ghost story things but here's a good one. You'll want to have the volume on, it's rather eerrrrriiieee. p.s. don't hate me. http://www.dvo.com/newsletter/monthly/2004/august/ghost_car_ad.mp4

Sugarland "Something More"

I get home 7:30 the house is dirty,
but it can wait Yeah, 'cause right now I need some downtime
To drink some red wine and celebrate
Armageddon could be knocking at my door
But I ain't gonna answer that's for sure.
There's gotta be something!
There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

The sun came up

Well, I gave myself last night to whine and complain, today life goes back to normal and all will be well with the world.

the move

well it is official, me and my bestest buddie of the last 6 years have decided to cut the cord and get seperate places. this was a longer post, but after i thought about it, most people didn't really know much about us anyway, so i guess i'll keep it to that.

Home for the holidays

Well, thanksgiving is beating down the door, so that means one thing. Mental preparedness. I have to get myself all revved up to see the family again. This has become a 3 time a year family olympiad for my brain.

this year as in the past one of the things I am most grateful for would have to be my friends. Especially Dawnia. You see I have to fly into a city 2 hours away from my family, and she is always kind enough to pick me up if I give her good notice. It's a pretty drive and it usually gives us a good 4 to 5 hours of catching up time. I know the drive is only 2 , but many a strange thing can happen on Mont Eagle Mtn, and when it does, it usually happens to us. Nonetheless, I am grateful.

so this year I have decided to hitch a ride back to the airport with family, so as not to put the friends out so much on their holidays, (I know they have crazy families they can't wait to go be awkward around as well). It should be interesting. I will be as of now driven back by the 2 sister-in-laws. They like to ask questions, so I am afeard. I hate trying to explain my need to leave Chattanooga. My entire family are born, breed, and stuck in small town life. Now in a perfect world I wouldn't mind being stuck in the surroundings of small town life, but my head and heart just can't bend to small town ways anymore. I am the square peg. So on that note, I am thankful for my family, I love them dearly, but man the distance is sweet...

Ode to speedy

She craps in the floor.
You only love her more.
That is speedy.
She licks your toes,
Then wrinkles her nose.
That is speedy.
18 hours of sleep is all she needs.
A living breathing poop machine.
That is speedy.
oh what a life!

Now on most days I love this little rat. Hell I gave her an ode on my blog even, but somedays I want to toss the little hairball out in the yard. Take today for instance. I let her out, put down the little poop mats on the floor , and what does she do? She poops, beside the mat. That's my speedy. Dumb as hair, but you gotta love her.

Love that giant f****** Q

The night time sleepy goodness worked so well, that I slept right through the alarm and woke up at the bright shining hour of 8:30 am. A few of you, (the one's that introduced me to Dennis) will get the title. Now mind you all I have to be at work at 9. Thank goodness I work out side so the shower was optional today, hehehe. Tomorrow I am off, I am going to battle the over zealous christian chiropractor for my x-rays. Wish me luck!

Cold Day 4

I must get well...damn the cold, damn the snot, damn the coughing. Tonight I will sleep. Two doses of the night time sleepy cough goodness, I should be asleep any minnnn......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz