I Wanna Be A Half Tail Cat

So I'm sitting here watching the street light pour in through the crack my cat has made in the blinds. Her half tail flopping less than gracefully behind her, and I can't help but think what a lucky damn cat she is, and why can't my life be that easy. Well, all of her life wasn't so lucky. I found her in a flower pot getting taken to a dumpster. A bunch of dumb super macho types were just gonna throw her away, this is when I worked for a company that sucked, and after I got the cat I quit, but back to the cat. So I brought her home , spoiled her rotten, fattened her up to perfection, then we ate her. Please no PETA letters, we didn't eat her, that was just to soften this blow, we cut her tail off! Actually my best friend cut her tail off. He was mortified, a slam of the door, one slow fat cat, a vet bill, and six inches less tail later, the cat is no worse for the wear. Now where else in life are you gonna have a trauma like that and at the days end just decide it's all okay, sit down, lick yourself, and go to sleep. Again I say, I wanna be a half tailed cat. (minus the whole door/severed tail bits)