Holiday wish

WARNING: this one is a bit of a downer, but it was on my mind.


Some days you are the rat, and some days you are the maze. Today I feel like the maze, strange and empty, wishing I had answers to all of the questions in the universe. A little while back, I was doing my usual routine after work on the nights wifey is at dialysis, so I pulled into the jack in the box for supper in a sack, flipped my money at the kid in the drive thru window, sat there grumbling off my day waiting for my curly fries. As I pulled out to the light, in the split second it took for red to go to green, a little face popped up in my window, as the light changed, I heard the calloused answer come out before I could stop myself, "not today kid", he looked back and he said his mom was hungry, not even asking for himself, his mom. The car behind me honked and I had to drive off. In the rear view mirror I saw his mom, old and sad sitting on the curb. I drove home crying, walked in sat my food on the table, turned around walked out and drove back looking for that kid. I felt like the worlds biggest horses ass. I went to the grocery store and got him some junk food and soda, sandwich crap, kid food. He couldn't have been more than 8 or 10. He literally jumped up and down and clapped when he saw me come back. He was so happy that I brought him food. Food. Just food. This is a big city, and people will take advantage of a kind heart, but I saw a lifetime in that kids eyes. I gave his mom a giftcard for the local grocery store, money I didn't really have to give, she asked my name and said she would pray for me. I never told her my name, I told her to love her kid, no matter how hard times were, and to help someone else when she was able. It is the holiday season, a little help, a little compassion, a little peace in a world that sucks, and kids that don't go to bed hungry. That is my wish. Sometimes the hardest person I face all day is myself. Holiday wishes to everyone.