First Impressions

So I went back to work yesterday after my nice long holiday, and was immediately pulled into the office for a management meeting. To my right, the current general manager, to my left , the woman I shall now call co-manager bitch captain X. I added the captain x part because it will make later stories about her far more humorous if I can put her in a super villain role, the bitch part because she earned it already. Now the boss man is in front of me at his desk, so what do I do, I stroll in flip a chair around backwards, straddle it, and eat my damn granola bar. Me...tie dyed shirt, ripped jeans, chacos, unbrushed hair. Her, polo shirt tucked in, nice pants, hair do, new shoes. I stifled a burp as I said hello. She is a Yankee, she knows nothing of southern plants, southern drawls, or southern hospitality. She is a cold wet fish. I didn't shake her hand. She is also old. After I finished my coffee I weighed in on this pseudo management meeting. Pretty much he said, I'm not quiet ready for the full general management spot, I agreed, she smirked, then he told her she wasn't either. She is a paper pusher, I am a damn dirt loving tree huggin flower planting non paper pushing hippie. The battle ensued, I told her we all share the load, no one is bettertha anyone else here on my planet, and with that the old beast was killed and a new two headed beast emerged from the flames. We have to share the position. Which is fine with me, I get a 2 dollar raise, my 3rd within a year, cha ching...And she gets to do the paper work. Now don't get me wrong, my new found hate for her didn't rear it's ugly head til I heard her as I walked away, she was all, yeah, I already have her figured outjust by hearing her talk in the meeting. Well, my dearest bitch captain x, my middle name is manipulation, and no one I know has me quiet figured out. I strolled out whistling and went on a field trip to buy dirt.(2 yards of rose soil to be exact! i'm doing roses from bare root this year! go me! anyway) She started her paper work. I think I will turn this springs adventures in gardening into a comic strip. I am a super hero... Hey, I guess dawnia was right when she said I make everybody have a superpower. p.s. Don't mess with Texas, hardcore biattchhhesss. hehe, I said that like cartman.