Remember

The air is cold, from the river valley I can still see the ice on the mountain top. My fingers are numb, but I keep paddling because the company is warm. Very few people appreciate a 3 hour canoe trip on the Tennessee river in January.

Flash forward, seventy-five feet, now a hundred, to far to go back, "let's climb all the way to the top." A small boulder style rock falls past his head as I travel up first, he just laughs. You are invincible in the safety of friends you know. That day we climbed a waterfall after some flash flooding to the top of montlake mountain. Soaking wet we walked back down the main road til we got to the bottom.

I'm calling in sick, you call too. We'll go white water rafting down the occoee." ok ". Mind you we worked at the same place at the time. Flash forward to rafting: the guide is all watch out for this rapid it's a big one. I listen, tuck in my feet and save a floundering Jeremy from falling over the side. Next rapid, my turn, I see myself going over the side, I see him seeing me go over the side. Nice save, I popped up outta the rapid some 40 feet later. Jeremy just shrugged and jumped in to swim with me. A million and one other great things like that. That's what friends are for.

Flash forward :today, lunch at a greasy spoon. We could barely look at each other, we didn't really talk, but you could tell it was important to be there. I took myself out of the relationship because I didn't want to be hurt when I lost my best friend. Now here I sit hurt ANYWAY because I am driving my best friend away. Tonight Sandra and I have been invited to the new house, with the new boyfriend, and the new dogs, and i will go, and i will smile, and i will know that we are still friends, and that he is trying just as hard as i am to adjust to this thing called life. I know we will always be friends. I just wasn't ready to remember yet.